I'm giggling as I write this, thinking of my friends reading this and sighing, "finally Joelle! Jeez! Took ya long enough!" ha ha
But as I giggle and write, I am also reminded of how awesome it is that these friends and family are so encouraging and persistent in getting me back into this!
So a big warm shout out and Thank You to all of you! I love you all!
When I think of getting back into writing my blog, the old familiar thought "where to begin" comes to mind. I have endured so many hills and valleys the past several months, and its hard to decide exactly where I should begin sharing my adventures as of late.
The people that know me well, I am quite sure, will confidently tell you that I am one of the THE most tangential people they have ever conversed with. Between my mind racing at a million thoughts per second and my mouth unable to keep up with my brain, my confessed inability to organize and/or filter my thoughts, and my innate ability to link almost any subject to another because of my random, fleeting, ADHD-poster-child mentality, I am most sure that finding a starting place for me, is like finding a needle in a haystack. I'm actually thinking now that I may have lost several of you just back in that last paragraph??
But alas. So it begins...
Welcome to my Blog! ...again.
Today I am at my family cottage. I am sitting at the dining room table writing this. Its pretty damn uncomfortable on these wooden chairs, and the angle at which I am leaning and typing is not exactly what one would consider ergonomically correct. Of course, I'm guessing that if I was sitting in the world's most comfy chair, I would still have a gripe or two. Not about the chair, but about one of the many 'ass aches' I always have. Eh, such is life. A constant 'ass ache.' ha ha
I'm laughing about it. I'm not complaining. Simply making light of the 'situation' that is my life.
Hmmmm... Let's see, where, oh where, did I leave you folks salivating for more tourette-a-saurus-wreckedness?
Since I simply have no recollection, I will just begin where I see fit.
And this is my blog.
So I can do that.
And I will.
'ADHD Poster Child' Side note: I painted my fingernails into little pink ladybugs with googly eyes. They are keeping me pretty entertained as I'm typing. In case you didn't know, Lady Bugs mean good luck; and if I do say so myself, I could probably use some! Heck, We all can!
Of course, if you really know me, you would realize that if they were in fact REAL lady bugs, they'd be mushed already and I'd be running in the opposite direction for fear of being attacked by one of these vicious devil red man eating spotted flying 1/2 inch big monster creatures!
Yeeea. I don't like things that fly.
Quirky? Yes. Funny? (to you) Yes. Scary? (to me) Yes.
This encompasses butterflies, moths, dragonflies, flying squirrels and fish (lol), birds, bees, flies, pretty much anything with wings that can hover or land on you. Squish. Squash.
Now, bring on some spiders?? I will be your SUPER HERO! They don't fly. They are no match for my fearless spider squashing skills.
8 legs? No prob. 2 wings? = Me + Flinstone Feet.
If I still have your attention after that my friend, you are a dedicated reader and for that you get bonus points! Actually - there are no bonus points; but you can give yourself a pat on the back.
Or go on, brush your shoulder off. Whatever your style may be homey.
This morning my tics are not great, not terrible though. My right shoulder is sore. This is about the time during my Botox rotation when my shoulder starts to ache a lot. Happens every time. Sucks every time. Except this time, it sucks just slightly more.
See, at the end of March, the 31st to be exact, I went ahead and broke my leg by falling down my bottom 2 stairs. Not an exciting story, I know. But boy was it a doozie! I broke 2 bones, tore 2 ligaments, and sprained it. The first time I had ever broken myself - and hopefully the last.
So, needless to say, I was (and still am) on crutches.
Well, that put quite a 'kink' in my tri-monthly Botox regimen. And in my muscles. All of 'em.
I mean, think about it... I break my leg. I'm on crutches. I start using muscles I haven't used in years to maneuver around on said crutches. I am achy, and sore, and whine like a little baby.
I get Botox injections for my Tourette's in my upper right extremity (neck, back, shoulder, pec). I'm still on crutches. To walk with crutches properly, a person must use their neck, back, shoulder, pec... Hmmm, I already see a problem ensuing. The Botox starts working. My right arm gradually gets weaker. My left arm overcompensates. My right arm is doing more than it should by even trying to use the crutches. My whole body is thrown off kilter from favoring my right side, certain positions, and constantly leaning to my right for comfort. I sleep on my right side every night because of my broken foot and my tics. I toss and turn constantly with knots in my back and side and hips from my whole alignment being, well, OUT of alignment.
Then, I wake up every morning with a stiff neck, back, and shoulder. Only to start this day long, grueling process of movement and/or non-movement, all over again. A constant, unconscious negotiation of my body parts; an internal struggle between how they want to be for just a moment's comfort, as opposed to how they need to be for the future structural health of my body. And so it repeats, day after day. Oh Joy!
Could be worse. Could be a lot worse. But if I'm being pessimistically realistic, I hate it, all of it, and I want it gone.
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Recently I've found some stability in my life as far as Dr's and therapists go. But, only with a great amount of struggle, knowledge, persistence, and advocacy -self and otherwise- did this take shape.
I'd like to title this excerpt from my blog as follows:
"A Personalized Story of 'OUR' Broken Healthcare system :
A Consumer/Provider perspective."
to be continued....
I know, such a tease. Deal with it. :o)
I must mingle with the family folk. After all, I AM at the cottage, and this IS a vacation!
Until next time -
Tourette-a-saurus-wreck - OUT!
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